Today, we in the Munakampala Department of The One Question Network are going to send our shout outs to various categories of people. We have called them shout outs kubanga we have had enough. We won’t take it anymore. KTM!! So much as you reading this in the serene comfort of your space, know that this is loud stuff. You might as well borrow sunglasses to dim the loud!!
I know people who call rats ‘city born’. That’s because they heard the other upcoming artiste from Bwaise promoting an insectiscide to kill “byona ebyewalula, eminyanyanya, ebiyenje n’obumesemese obwefude bu city born”! People, there is no such thing as a city born. We have rats, mice and your neighbour’s destructive cat, not city borns.
Visa blessing pastors
These pastors still hold services where they tell people to “sow” their land titles, log books, plantation forests and iPads. In return, they will receive a visa. I know one such woman, and you do to! Chaps run up there and don’t even think twice. It’s like someone told them that Prophetess ABC has a direct backdoor to every visa office in every embassy. And what beats my understanding is this: what is a broke brother from Kiboga going to need a visa for? To where, and for what?
Radio came to Uganda a long time ago. Some of y’alls were not even born yet. Then came the phone age and all this trouble begun. We still have idiots who still want to listen to themselves when they call a radio or TV station. And the presenter will ask them to move away from their radio or turn it off, because there is shizzo that happens that I can’t explain, but it pisses the rest of us off! But people don’t listen. They are still dense like that! Now I will ask you one more time, move away from the radio!
Dripping wet head bags, aka carrier bags
Our seasons here in Uganda have changed. The rain falls when it feels like. Which is not a problem. The problem is after the storm and you are seating next to this woman wearing a carrier bag in a taxi. Water is dripping all over the place and onto your arm. Please take the thing off your head. Even Top Gear’s Jeremy had to mention it. What’s with you people and carrier bags? Buy an umbrella, or don’t play in the rain! If it’s raining, stand at a shelter and wait!!