It’s International Women’s Day today. In Uganda it means ‘heap insults on man kind’!! I went for Open Mic Fusion the other night at the Uganda Museum. The theme was something that sounded like ‘Battle of the Sexes’. The talented and untalented alike took to the stage to praise the woman, and what-not. At first, I didn’t mind all that, but it went into PG mode when one of the wannabe poets calling herself Rashida, decided to insult we men. I was thinking to myself, I thought we were celebrating the woman. I didn’t know that celebrating the woman in Uganda means heaping insults on the man. Oh well, that is somebody’s twisted opinion.

Today, we are going to see a few women on the Ugandan scene who have left a mark.

Namirembe Bitamazire
She is a living fossil. She is older than the education system in Uganda. And she still keep going. The term ‘retirement’ was Shift+Deleted from her vocabulary database… as well as a host of other words!! Sources say that right now she is working to invade the Ministry of Education and ‘take back territory’!!

Bad Black
This one is a living pity. She is proof of what a White man will do to you if you cross him. Now, she is also proof that one has to be quite bright when dealing with Ugandans. They are your fans only when you are breaking the law and making a fool of yourself on the social scene. Now she is broke, and no one even went to see her in jail. Even her own lawyers sued her. And still Ugandans do not learn!

Rebecca Kadaga
She proved to the whole world that we should not entertain twisted beliefs. She might as well take the ‘Iron Lady’ title away from Margaret Thatcher!

Kotilda
An embarrassment to feminism. I cannot say whether that name really exists, and what meaning it holds. Somebody lied to her that she is funny. So she does stand up comedy and laughs at her own profanity. She is the kind of woman that you need to keep your kids away from. She will intoxicate them with immorality and you will not recognize them when she is finished with them.

Proscovia Oromait Alengot
She made headlines when she became Africa’s youngest MP at 19. And she belongs to the ruling NRM party. One can only hope she sticks true to her word to fights corruption, and does not get corrupted in the process!!

Winnie Byanyima
Not many women would want to walk in her shoes. Having your marriage persecuted by the tabloids and your home besieged by mean, armed policemen can be a harrowing experience. But she has kept her cool. May she live longer.

Ingrid Turinawe
We are still not sure about what else this lady is capable of. She can beat any roadblock! And unlike her friend Winnie, she will fight  back(see, bite back) if molested. I believe she also has a career in being a rally driver!

We are done here, I believe. Have a fantastic day as you celebrate the women in your life.