We were supposed to see what happened to Ejakait this week, but I m the one churning out these fantastic tales, so I decide on what I want. Yes, so we shall see Ejakait next week(haha, and there is nada you can do about it. Have I told you about the golden rule? Well, you will just have to wait for Ejakait’s saga next week, then you will know about “The Golden Rule” after Ejakait’s tale.)

This week I was hit by a serious wave of nostalgia when I saw some little ‘uns going to school, and memories came flooding back.

For my primary education, I went to a fantastic school whose teachers were a part of the molding of the person I am. It was a little known school tucked away discreetly in Makerere, and it appears it decided to remain that way.

By the time I sat my PLE, there were 27 of us in the classroom. Along the way, we lost some of them so early, so young(RIP). But all in all, we were like a small happy family. It was not this UPE thingy of nowadays where the teacher only knows the names of the kids on the first row!

There were a number of fruit trees in the school compound, but most especially jambula and mango. There was also a coconut tree a few feet away from the toilet. It had bright orange kernels, I remember. But you see, all this fruit was illegal. Eating of the trees was punishable by a thorough butt thrashing in front of the whole school, so that you would be an example. Then for good measure, there would be another round of butt thrashing in your classroom!!

But whatever the persecution, we loved our fruit trees. An enormous amount of respect was accorded to the person who dared even think about throwing a stone at a mango. The rest of us cowards would wait around the tree, hoping that more than one mango would crash to the ground.

And how can I forget the Science lessons! They transformed my life! They taught me everything I know about life around me. In my P6, we had a fantastic Science teacher. I still believe she was the best of the best. I still remember almost everything in every topic she taught.

There was one point she mentioned that will never leave my mind. In that particular lesson, we were talking about the disadvantages of cross breeding in cattle. The point was that the big bulls break the small cows.

I remember the raucous laughter after that. It was like nothing I had ever heard before(the point, not the laughter). It still sounds ridiculous when I think about it. That point cut across all the animals we did – sheep, goats, chickens. It’s like we were always poised to shout it out when the time came. And, my, did we shout it out!

Then came the the topic Reproduction in Man. By now, our famous point had caught on like a flu. But for some reason, it didn’t seem like t would be a fitting point. Some idiot brought it up, thinking he was being funny. The teacher was not amused and made an example out of him. She gave him a spanking he will never forget. He had taken the tomfoolery to far, she said. I think hhe is still single, poor boy!

Next week we will see what happened to Ejakait after the things he said about the bank in the bank!!